we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
