What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
