hell yes lets make some ravioli
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
