Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
