we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
