I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
