I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
