I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
no. you can't hotbox the world.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
