We're facebook friends in real life
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
