she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
