Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
