i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
