We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
