And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
