bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
