Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
