That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
