Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
