They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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