Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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