just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
