I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
