he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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