i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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