I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
