There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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