I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize