Ambien. No doubt about it.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
