yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
