This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
