what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
