I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
