We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
