Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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