I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
