They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
