so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
