It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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