Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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