I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
