I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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