it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I love you. Go after that dick
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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