You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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