No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
