Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
