I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize