We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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