Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
