they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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