it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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