another moral hangover. fuck.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
