This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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