ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
