I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
