i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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