Kiss
Puke
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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