Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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