what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
