i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
