Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
