so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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