dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
