just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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