he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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