you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
