I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
