I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
